We miss you James! We hope you are having a great time in Duncan! It's been a crazy two weeks. First of all I am feeling very normal now that the Zoloft is in my system. I don't want to be taking it but thank the good Lord it exists. I am thoroughly enjoying my baby girl and her newborn stage. We left last Wednesday for OKC to introduce Kinley to everyone there. We had a great time, above are all the pics. My Mom and great friend Chandra put on an open house for us and about 12 friends and family stopped by. We also had family dinner with my Grandma, sister, and Tristan - the boys had a great time (he is the little blond boy in the pictures with James and Kinley). Then we had dinner with the Morris' before they took James home with them for the week. We were all exhuasted - we heard James slept until 10:00 am on Sunday and had to be woken up! I wish he would do that for us sometime, it is the second time it's happened in Duncan. I guess I would have to be able to stay up past nine with him sometime - that'll never happen! I am such a night party pooper. I have been enjoying that Josh can do the 10:00pm bottle, I get to go to bed at 9:00!! While we were in OKC Kinley slept 8hours straight for the first time, I however only slept two hours that night - random mix of caffeine and medicine kept me up - it was awful and maddening. I am using my time this week to make room for new toys since James' birthday is next week. That means I have to tackle the attic, we are going to try Space Bags as a new storage system for the kids clothes, I'll let you know how it turns out??

It's been a hard couple of days at the Morris house. After I posted Wednesday my Dr. called back and said that I could not increase the amount of progesterone I was using (we had already determined the amount I was using wasn't helping) so that made me really sad but we also found that very much progesterone decreases your milk. She did agree with us that I am definitely experiencing text book postpartum depression. She said it is a moderate case, could be better could be worse but I definitely need Zoloft. So the first big decision was weather or not to take the medicine, well after what I've been experiencing in the afternoons it wasn't much of a decision, I have to have the medicine. The research out about breastfeeding and taking Zoloft says they don't see it causing problems in the infants that are getting it but it hasn't been out long enough to know what the long term effects are. Many women now are breastfeeding and taking it and Dr.'s are prescribing it. So we have been left with a difficult decision. Breastfeeding is going so great, we haven't had one problem and I have plenty of good milk so choosing to stop just sounds crazy but giving my baby girl a drug that could alter her chemical make up sounds crazier. So after tears and much deliberation we have decided to switch to formula. In celebration (to keep from grief) Josh and I are going on our first date tonight and plan to enjoy our new freedom! (By the way I've had two doses of Zoloft and already feel much more balanced- praise God I live in a time where I can get help and still feed my baby something healthy)

Kinley's appointment went well. She weighs 8.5lbs and everything else looks great! My doctor has prescribed a higher dose of progesterone to be taken at night along with Zoloft. We have decided that we are going to wait until Saturday to see if we need the Zoloft and pray that more progesterone solves the problem. Isn't she a cutie!

We went swimming today with Grandma Barbara and Aunt Samantha. It was exhausting for me but great fun for James. James is still pretty timid about the water but today he really made strides. He enjoyed hanging on the yellow air mattress and chasing the ball around the pool. We went swimming at Barbara's brother's house and they have a turtle yard, chicken coop, coi pond, and awesome toy closet. The last picture is of James feeding the chickens but he and the chickens wouldn't cooperate. Kinley was passed out most of the time and seemed to not even notice getting in the water. Daddy wore her out for me last night before bed then she slept 7 hours! I think she was still tired this morning. Kinley has definitely found her fussy side - we are all enjoying that. Tomorrow we go to the Dr. for Kinley's 2 week check up then I go to the Dr. for some chemical balance check, I haven't been doing so hot the past week and feel like it is getting worse so we are just going to get the Dr. involved. Please pray for wisdom for her and us and a quick breastfeeding safe remedy. I'll post results from both appointments tomorrow.

Oh the hormonal craziness of having a baby! Poor Josh and James. On the 4th we had James and Samantha over and we were having hot dogs for lunch. I was past starving and exhausted from the day and I was trying to make one chili cheese dog and one with mustard and ketchup. I put ketchup on one and mustard on the other then I just started boohooing and held it out to Josh saying "it was supposed to have chili!!!" He lovingly took it from me and proceeded to wipe all the ketchup off and put chili and cheese on it for me. He is so great! Today I called my mom crying saying "I can't do this" and two hours later I called her in complete bliss at having two wonderful children and feeling completely in control. James has taken to kissing my tears and the minute I take a normal breath asking "do you feel better now?". He is being very mature and sensitive. (Maybe I should try crying the next time he has a bad attitude and disobeys?!?) We made our debut at church on Sunday. Everyone thought she was adorable and we made it home in one piece. Kinley wore her new pink dress her unlce Jason and aunt Emily got for her. She looked so pretty and as soon as we got her dressed she started spitting up the most she has in her short little life. We just attacked her with wipes and called it good - she looked great but smelled terrible! Saturday night she dropped one of her night feedings and much to my surprise she did it again last night - maybe this is our new thing?? We went to the Dr. today to have her cord looked at because it fell off but is bleeding quiet a bit - they said it was fine - but while we were there I had them weigh her and she is at a hefty 7lbs 12oz! She has gained over and ounce a day and I haven't been supplementing at all - that feels really good!

It was just one of those days. It started well. Josh stayed home this morning and mowed which occupied James so I got to spend some great cuddle time with Kinley. (I also got another great nights sleep last night which makes everything better.) My life long friend Angela came over for a few hours. She got our web album linked to the blog (look at the top right corner). James watched Cars for the millionth time while we visited. Kinley looked adorable in her stripped pants and hot pink cap sleeve onsie - thanks Nana and Grandad! Around 11:30 everything headed south. Kinley got cranky and James got an attitude. Ang was like "no kids for me"! We ended up having to send James to bed early and when Ang left we wrapped up Kinley tight as possible and put her in bed then Josh and I crashed on the couch. It was the first nap we have both actually been able to fall asleep for. Go figured all cramped up on the couch (and part of the ottoman). After the kids woke up I thought it might be good to get James out to do something he likes. (This was to be our first outing with just the three of us) We went to get a strawberry limeade (and you better not call it cherry) from Sonic then to the big library that has animal murals all over the wall and tons of books. He had a great time, he came up with the most elaborate stories about surprises and snakes and lion cubbies. We just walked around talking about all the stuff for almost an hour. Then Kinley got hungry and let me say my first experience feeding her in public while trying to keep up with James was a bit crazy. She would not latch (which normally isn't a problem but while sitting in a mini chair lots of things become a problem) so she started screaming bloody murder, in the library mind you. I had both sides exposed doing everything I could to get her to be quiet while trying to wrangle the Hooter Hider to keep me covered. Oh and reading books to James while he turned the pages to keep him from running off. James had a great attitude and was very patient with us until it was time to go, then suddenly he couldn't carry anything and was incapable of walking with me. Somehow we made it to the car and home but I was exhausted! Hopefully tonight will be another of good sleep! The first picture captures our day very well!

Kinley will be a week old tomorrow! We have been doing well at home. She is a very good eater (no more supplementing) and almost back to her birth weight. She doesn't have her nights and days mixed up so we get wake time out of her easily during the day. I actually got 7 hours of sleep last night (broken up of course but I'll take it). She already had to have her first medication. She has a clogged, infected tear duct so we have to do eye drops for 10 days. James is doing fairly well. He is loving all the new "big brother" toys his grandparents gave him. He is now requesting that we go to "Carget" (target) and buy a "lightming queen" (Lightning McQueen) book to go with his movie and car launcher. He hasn't paid Kinley much attention since we've been home and today he said "I dont' like her because she cries". But he got to go to school today and have a break from all of us. He came home in the best mood telling all sorts of stories about he and his friends.